Bear Story

A number of people have asked me to share my bear story. So, here it is, in all of it's glorious and humorous moments! Enjoy!


A number of years ago, while I was youth minister at the former First Southern Baptist church, myself and my friend took three teens to Discipleship Training at the Baptist Camp of Glorietta, New Mexico. (The Mecca for Baptists in the west!)
We decided to camp, using my brand new two room tent. The cabins and rooms were beyond our budget. We picked a location on the hill near the end of the camp loop. It was a beautiful spot, surrounded by Ponderosa pine. 
We registered, ate dinner Saturday evening and returned to our camp and got ready for the night. The two girls were in one air mattress in one room, my son on a cot in the room with me and my friend on the other air mattress.
Now, there were a number of other campers there that night, including a Spanish baptist group that were enjoying a sing-a-long near their campfire. Some of them shouldn't have been singing, I know the bible says to make a joyful noise, but I had to wonder if God could find any joy among this noise!
Needless to say, we got little sleep that night.
Because the camp was so full, we were slated for the early breakfast schedule. Six is a little early for me to get up, and without much sleep the night before, the first day seemed to drag on endlessly.
We literally slid ourselves to bed at 10:30 that evening, thrilled that the campground was empty except for us. Happy the Spanish campers had moved out, and there was a great possibility that we would enjoy a good night sleep.
Everyone was asleep before we hit our sleeping bags. 
A noise woke my friend and I around 2:00 in the morning. Whispering, she said, "I think there is a bear out there!"
My eyes snapped open. "What do we do?"
"Be quiet, maybe it will go away."
Our whispers woke the three teens, who promptly asked what was going on.
"Shhh!" My friend whispered, "There is a bear out there, just go back to sleep!" Yeah, I'm sure that inspired them that we had everything under control and they could once again venture into dream land!
It was at this moment, that my brainy son spoke softly, "Mom, I see trees."
Brilliant, I thought, "Of course you see trees, we are in the woods."
"No mom, I mean I see the trees, I think the door is open!"
Suddenly I sat up, thinking we were more tired than I thought. I must immediately get up and zip up the door, closing off access to our humble abode. I crawled over my friend, who was now sitting up looking at the door. It was when I neared the door, sticking my hand out that I noticed the door was completely zipped, and yes my son had seen the trees, because there was a hole sliced near the zipper from the top of the tent, to the bottom.
You must remember, that brains rarely work well when suddenly roused from sleep by bears. After a quick discussion, we decided it would be best for us to leave the tent, get into the vehicle, and leave this place of wild animals.
Quickly gathering our coats, a flashlight, and pillows, I stood to lead the way.
Shaking, I unzipped the zipper. Now, at this point you may be asking yourself why we didn't just go through the convenient hole already there. As previously stated, brains don't work well when awoken by a bear! I stuck the flashlight out, saw no bear, and we all dashed for the vehicle. (We had borrowed a larger vehicle from a church member so we could carry our various camping items.) Now, being older, and ignorant of the lock your door always rule, my friend and I jumped into the front seat. Her in the driver seat, me in the passenger seat. The teens, well aware of the a fore mentioned rule, had dutifully locked their doors the night before. They were standing there, pounding on the glass in unison, "LET US IN! LET US IN!"
After fumbling with the lock, they were finally able to get into the back seat. Both girls next to the doors, my son sitting greatly relieved in between them. 
We were ready to go, breathing a sigh of relief, my friend spoke. "okay, give me the keys."
Looking at her, my brain still not functioning well, "I don't have the keys, you have them."
She shook her head, "No, you have them."
"No,", I said matter of fact, "You drove back last night, you have them."
It was at that exact moment our brains came to the same conclusion as we spoke in unison. "The keys are in the tent."
"Well," I said, "Someone has to go get the keys."
All eyes turned to my son, the only he-man-type male among us.
He shook his head, "No, you can call me a wimp, or a wuss, or whatever else you want, but I'm not getting the keys." As he sat boldly between the girls.
We all sat quietly for a moment. Knowing we were the adults and after all, we were responsible for the teens, and we really couldn't just send them out alone into bear infested woods to retrieve keys, we came up with a plan to get the keys.
I, being the lesser of the brave, would remain in the vehicle with the teens. My friend would run to the tent and grab the keys and because she was already in the drivers seat, this was the most logical conclusion. I decided I would keep her safe from the bears by rolling down the window just enough for me to hold the flashlight outside, so she would be able to see, while the other hand was on the horn. I would honk if I saw the bear, after that, she was pretty much on her own!
With trepidation, she ventured out to get the above mentioned keys.
It felt like eternity before she emerged from the tent, still using the door, and promptly zipping it back up again, keys in hand.
Relieved, we drove to the bottom of the hill where the camp host was sleeping soundly in his R.V.. Earlier, we had read a sign on the door that said if you see a bear, please inform the camp host. It didn't say we shouldn't do so in the middle of the night. My friend and I jumped out of the vehicle now feeling safe since the tent was at least 100 yards up the hill. We quickly knocked on the door, looking at each other as we heard a woman's voice coming from inside somewhere. "It must be a bear."
At least we wouldn't have to feel guilty about waking them up! This must have happened before. A man, wearing gray sweat pants and a Glorietta t-shirt opened the door. 
"There is a bear at our tent," I spewed excitedly, "and it ripped a hole in our tent from here to here." I used my hands to speak, knowing from experience that brains don't work well, and he may need a visual description to get the point across to his brain.
Without a word, and leaving the door open, he turned and picked up an old rotary dial phone. "Security, this is the camp host, we have a bear in the campground, I think it's the big one."
At those words, eyes popping, my friend and I looked at each other and mouthed, "The Big One!!!" My brain, now starting to function slightly, thought, wow, they know these bears so well, that they could tell it was the big one just from my visual explanation! They are good!
Within moments, a security guard in a golf cart passed us as he drove as quickly as you can in a golf cart up the hill to tent camping. 
I looked at the camp host, "We can't stay in our tent now, it has a huge hole, what should we do?"
After another phone call, he turned, "We have a cabin you can use, there isn't a key, but no one bothers anything here."
No problem, but our bedding, minus pillows, was still in the tent with our clothing. Happy now, the teens noticed we had saved the junk food from being demolished by a hungry bear by insisting we leave all food in the truck and quickly dug in to grab a mid-night snack. 
After a time, we heard the golf cart returning. The nice security guy told us he would help us get our items out of the tent and move to the cabin. He hadn't seen the bear, and was pretty sure it was gone, but just in case, he would hold the tent open while he stood with a shotgun in his hand, just in case. Being fully awake, his brain functioning perfectly, he told us just to use the convenient hole made by the bear.
It was now 4:30 in the morning. It took another half hour for us to move our clothes and sleeping bags into the nearby cabin. Two sets of bunk beds, and a cot, along with an old gas stove and noisy 1940 refrigerator were the only things in the small 15x15 foot cabin.
Lights out, and at last, sleep. But the teens, tummies full from junk food, and adrenaline rushing through their hormone filled bodies, were unable to sleep. Oh well, it was almost time for us to get up and go to breakfast. We made our way to the shower house, glad we didn't have to wait in line, no one else was up at this hour. It was upon returning to the cabin that we now could see the vehicle. The sun just coming up over the mountains. Paw prints, in the dust on the side of the vehicle. And, what is this? The air vent cover, put there more for decoration than anything else, was missing. We moved en mass to the rear of the vehicle, and it was there we saw the tongue prints on the window. The bear had tried to get our junk food! The teens were angry now and desired revenge from the foe who would dare take their chips and chocolate!
We went to breakfast, glad to be alive, yawning, and trudged to our classes.
Now, for those of you who have never been to this mecca of the baptist west, know the bathrooms can rival those in any major football league stadium in the United States. The stalls seem to be an endless row or relief. 
While using these wonderful facilities, my friend and I overheard everyone talking about a bear attack in the camp ground. 
"I guess it shredded the tent!"
"Yeah, and I heard that one of them had their leg torn off, we need to pray for those poor people!"
"I have been praying, but can you imagine a bear thrashing through a tent full of teens? It must have been horrific"
"I'm sure it was, bless their little hearts!"
Not aware that it was ourselves who were the topic of this discussion stepped into the main room. A very grandmotherly woman was at the sink. My friend approached her, "When did this happen? We had our tent attacked by a bear last night too!"
The lady flung her arms around my friend and I, nearly smothering us with her um, rather large bosoms. "Bless your little hearts, You must have been terrified!"
Pulling away from her loving grasp, we nodded, smiling. "Yeah," I said, "but it is kind of funny now that we think about it."
"How close to the campers that lost their legs were you?" She asked.
"Well, we thought we were the only ones there and we didn't even know about anyone losing their legs."
It was at this moment, we were graced by a female security person who explained, it was only one tent, and, we were the ones that had been spoken about. We both looked down at our legs, just in case one was missing, and being as tired as we were, we may not have noticed a missing body part. 
Nope! All intact, we left the bathroom, amazed and still laughing from our experience.
Just in case you are wondering, I still have the tent, although I don't use it any longer, I keep it just in case someone asks me to return to this place and camp with them. I quietly take it out and show them, using my hands, I explain loudly why I can never again return to this campground. 
There is a little more to the story, but I will save that for a time when I must write about sleep deprivation and what it can do to the human brain!
And just a word of warning, whispering does not deter bears from keeping company with you in the middle of the night. It is better to shout and scream. I just thought I would share this bit of information in case you decided to travel to this amazing place! By the way, do you need to borrow a tent?